26 Funny Quotes on Self Improvement and Success

Here are 26 quotes on self improvement and success – some are funny, some are ironic. Some were quoted from famous people, some from unsung heroes.

However, all of them have bearing on your journey to a better you:

1. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”

Jack London

2. “All you need in life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

Mark Twain

3. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”


4. “I told you so.”

Sincerely, your intuition.

5. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Will Rogers

6. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

Truman Capote

7. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

8 “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”

Will Rogers

9. “I am looking for a lot of men with an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done.”

Henry Ford

10. “Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world…”

Lily Tomlin

11. “There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.”

Jim Rohn

12. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”

Bill Cosby

26 Funny Quotes on Self Improvement and Success - self improvement quotes - success quotes - success mindset quotes - funny quotes13. “This too, shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.”


14. “It’s never too late to get your sh*t together.”


15. “Sorry, I can’t go to work tomorrow. I fractured my motivation.”


16. “I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.”

Robert Benchley

17. “If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.”

Marcelene Cox

18. “I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?”

Leo Durocher

19. “It’s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”

W. Somerset Maugham

20. “If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

Tallulah Bankhead

21. “My life needs editing.”

Mort Sahl

22. “Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

Albert Einstein

23. “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.”

Thomas Sowell

24. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”

Lily Tomlin

25. “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.”

Jules Renard

26. “When life knocks you down… Get up, kick life in the shin and storm off full speed ahead again.”

The Missing Key